Post by Total Ullz on Feb 27, 2011 15:01:06 GMT -5
Ulla: Trouble in the spoilers!
Ed: Oh no - what kind of trouble?
Ulla: I can say that in here - it's embarrassing
Ed: Can't you whisper it then?
Ulla: No. Just come with me please...
Ed: I can't leave now. We are in the middle of the Night-color!
Ulla: [slightly irritated] One of the you-know-what-animal is loose and running around knocking over everyone
Ed: Well what on earth are you talking about?
Ulla: *I* don't know - I was sitting writing the color for the Night when I saw a goat from the bathroom running around. Thought you would like to be informed, that's all - I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.
[JARRING CHORD]
[The door flies open and Pedescribe enters]
Pedescribe: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Dope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.
[Pedescribe exits]
Ulla: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.
[JARRING CHORD]
[Pedescribe burst in]
Pedescribe: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Dope, and nice red uniforms - Oh damn!
[To Høøpy Frøød] I can't say it - you'll have to say it.
Høøpy Frøød: What? I am not even *in* this game!!!
Pedescribe: You'll have to say the bit about 'Our chief weapons are ...'
Høøpy Frøød: [rather horrified]: I couldn't do that...
[Pedescribe bundles outside again]
Ulla: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.
[JARRING CHORD]
[Pedescribe enters]
Høøpy Frøød: Er.... Nobody...um....
Pedescribe: Expects...
Høøpy Frøød: Expects... Nobody expects the...um...the Spanish...um...
Pedescribe: Inquisition.
Høøpy Frøød: I know, I know! Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. In fact, those who do expect -
Pedescribe: Our chief weapons are...
Høøpy Frøød: Our chief weapons are...um...er...
Pedescribe: Surprise...
Høøpy Frøød: Surprise and --
Pedescribe: Okay, stop. Stop. Stop there - stop there. Stop. Phew! Ah! ... our chief weapons are surprise...blah blah blah. Read the charges.
Ed: You are hereby charged that you did on diverse dates commit heresy against the Game of Mafia. 'My old man said follow the--'
Ulla [To Ed]: That's enough!
Ulla [To players] :Now, how do you all plead?
Players [all at once]: We're innocent!
Pedescribe [DIABOLICAL LAUGHTER]: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Pedescribe [DIABOLICAL ACTING]: I'll soon change your mind about that!
Pedescribe: Fear, surprise, and a most ruthless-- [controls himself with a supreme effort] Ooooh! Now, Moderators -- the rack!
[Ed produces a plastic-coated dish-drying rack. Pedescribe looks at it and clenches his teeth in an effort not to lose control. He hums heavily to cover his anger]
Pedescribe: You....Right! Tie them all down.
Pedescribe: Right! How do you plead?
Players on rank looking surprised: Innocent.
Pedescribe: Ha! Right! Moderators, give the rack [oh dear] give the rack a turn.
[Ulla and Ed stands their awkwardly and shrugs their shoulders]
Ulla: I....
Pedescribe: [gritting his teeth] I *know*, I know you can't. I didn't want to say anything. I just wanted to try and ignore your crass mistake.
Ulla: I...
Pedescribe: It makes it all seem so stupid.
Ulla: Shall I...?
Pedescribe: No, just pretend for God's sake. Ha! Ha! Ha!
[Ulla turns an imaginary handle on the side of the dish-rack]
Pedescribe: Now, all you players -- you are accused of heresy on three counts -- heresy by thought, heresy by word, heresy by deed, and heresy by action -- *four* counts. Do you confess?
[silence]
Romanic: I don't understand what I'm accused of.
Pedescribe: Ha! Then we'll make you understand! Ulla! Fetch...THE CUSHIONS!
[JARRING CHORD]
[Ulla holds out two ordinary modern household cushions]
Ulla: Here they are.
Pedescribe: Now -- you have one last chance. Confess the heinous sin of heresy, reject the works of the ungodly -- *two* last chances. And you shall be free -- *three* last chances. You have three last chances, the nature of which I have divulged in my previous utterance.
Renata: we still have no idea what you're talking about.
Pedescribe: Right! If that's the way you want it -- Moderator! Poke her with the soft cushions!
[Ed carries out this rather pathetic torture]
Pedescribe: Confess! Confess! Confess!
Ed: It doesn't seem to be hurting her.
Pedescribe: Have you got all the stuffing up one end?
Ed: Yes.
Pedescribe [angrily hurling away the cushions]: Hm! They seem to be made of harder stuff! Ed! Fetch...THE COMFY CHAIR!
[JARRING CHORD]
[Zoom into Ed's horrified face]
Ed [terrified]: The...Comfy Chair?
[Ulla pushes in a comfy chair -- a really plush one]
Pedescribe: So you think you are strong because you can survive the soft cushions. Well, we shall see. Moderators! Put one of them in the Comfy Chair!
[They roughly push Sister Coyote into the Comfy Chair]
Pedescribe [with a cruel leer]: Now -- you will stay in the Comfy Chair until lunch time, with only a cup of coffee at eleven. [aside, to Ulla] Is that really all it is?
Ulla: Yes.
Pedescribe: I see. I suppose we make it worse by shouting a lot, do we? Confess! Confess! Confess! Confess! Confess!
Ed: I confess!
Pedescribe: Not you!
[Idle Thoughts enters the color]
Idle: Right, you two moderators, stop that color. I think it's silly.
Ulla: What?
Idle: It's silly.
Ed: What do you mean, you can't stop it - it's our game.
Idle: That doesn't make any difference to the readers at home, does it? Come on, get out. Out. Come on out, all of you. Get off, go on, all of you. Go on, move, move. Go on, get out. Come on, get out, move, move. Start the Night and let's get on with this.
Ulla [looking kind of surprised]: And now for something completely different
Ed: The announcing of the alignment of the lynched player:
Pedescribe, The Spanish Inquisition, Mad bomber, neither Town nor Scum, has been lynched
Ulla [to Ed]: I bet they didn't expect that!
Spoilers: Yes, we did!!
Players: Yes, we did!
Ed: I think they did....
Night will last no less then 36 hours and no more then 60.